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Welcome to the Cheese Times News Archive, Here you can read and browse our previous articles. We are proud to have you as a reader, you're obviously a very discerning person who desires to know the "real news" - the news the other papers and networks don't want you to know.



Saddam back from the grave?
Tuesday, 06 March 2007

Recent reports from Baghdad are claiming that recently hanged former dictator and thoroughly bad chap Saddam Hussein is back from the dead and walking the streets. Numerous eye witness reports have confirmed that a man inexplicably matching Saddam’s identity is back on the streets of Baghdad

 
The Two Harrys
Tuesday, 06 March 2007
 
Prince Harry; British solider or fat slob?
Monday, 05 March 2007

Is the real Prince Harry dossing at home getting fat whilst a NASA built cyborg trains for combat? One of Prince Harry’s former classmates, Boris Beenleigh claims former rascal turned honourable soldier is in fact still dossing at Highgrove House whilst British Army officer Cornet Wales is in fact a cyborg built by NASA. 

 
Prison overcrowding reduced by lowering safety standards
Monday, 05 March 2007

UK Home Secretary John Reid has thrown out and banned all health and safety laws from English jails in a desperate attempt to solve the growing prison overcrowding crisis.  Prisons in the UK are full to bursting and Mr Reid is desperate to free up space.

 
Branscombe Beach Looters Inspire Return to British Maritime Pastimes
Sunday, 28 January 2007

The scenes of hundreds of looters, or 'salvers,' descending on the strewn cargo of the stricken MSC Napoli on Branscombe beach, Devon, taking what they could carry away, have revived centuries old traditional seafaring hobbies such as swashbuckling treasure hunting, ye olde smuggling, wrecking and high seas piracy in the UK.

 
Man's Chin Replaced by Cheese
Friday, 20 October 2006

An East Anglian Plastic surgeon has been arrested in connection with a great chin scandal. Dr. Michael Hamstring was taken into custody over allegations that he has been stealing people’s chins and selling them on the black market.  It's a practice that is more common than you might think.

 
Pluto loses Planetary Membership Card
Sunday, 01 October 2006

After years of wrangling and debate, last week Pluto was finally stripped of it’s planetary status. Much media coverage has been given to this story, and many scientists have put forth their claims for re-labeling Pluto a “dwarf planet”.  However we've discovered there's more than science behind the change.

 
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