The Cheese Bandits have been pilfering cheese shops and factories for 14 years. DI Double-Gloucester has been on their trail ever since their very first heist. Recently it was claimed by bystanders that one of the trio had been caught during a botched raid. This was denied, however in their latest heist reports claim only two thieves. 

Shay Given, the Irish goalkeeper for Newcastle United has become the first player to receive a special FIFA grant to move into and live in his own goal.  He's made it fully furnished and he sleeps there. However not everyone in the Premier League and FIFA is happy about the keeper's dream home.

Michael Hubbardston, a fired NASA worker releases the first photo of proof of life on mars. Hubbardston claims the leak is payback for the unlawful termination of his contract and his quest for the truth to be told. “They’ve had this photo since November 2005, undeniable proof, it’s a huge cover up”

The civil war that is besieging Iraq has grown even more dangerous with differing reports over the sighting of Saddam Hussein.   Saddam, the former Iraqi dictator and overall bad egg was executed on December 30th 2006.  In the weeks since his death, sightings of the former leader have been reported.

Has the Blair Government used it's greatest minds to create a time machine similar to the Tardis to go back in time? Have they then used this ability to increase the deployment of troops in Iraq by taking soldiers from World War One through a wormhole? That's the claim of a former Army General. 

The Cheese Bandits, who had recently just escaped Canadian authorities capture by quite literally the skin of their feet made another courageous cheese heist today in Tennessee, USA.  Local authorities believe they have one of them in custody

A government employed experimental geneticist has broken cover and blown the whistle on an attempted state cover up of the creation of a new ‘super’ species of otter. The New Otter Species (NOS) has been described by terrified scientists as ‘Humanities equal, if not their new master.’