A government employed experimental geneticist has broken cover and blown the whistle on an attempted state cover up of the creation of a new ‘super’ species of otter. The New Otter Species (NOS) has been described by terrified scientists as ‘Humanities equal, if not their new master.’ 

Local Baghdad residents claim Saddam Hussein is back from the grave and preaching on the streets.  Former Baath party loyalists are claiming their hero has come back from death. One Baath loyalist claims Saddam is “the new prophet, the returning blessing to free us”

Stuart Pearce's career as Manchester City manager is further in jeopardy.  Rumours circulate that Spielberg's Dreamworks company might be on the verge of buying out controlling shares in the club. Tom Hanks already lined up to be new manager.

Multi, mega, massive billion pound pay-day “A Coming!” 

Directors at Europe’s biggest Cheese manufacturer Cheese Galactic, a British/Chad company, have decided it is to sell up and leave the cheese market completely in order to capitalise on the expected lucrative new virtual cheese.com.org. boom in demand for hi tech byte produced cheese products.  

Heir to the British throne Prince Charles has set a new world record that son Harry will be particularly impressed with. For big eared country loving Chas has set a new record for downing 5 consecutive pints of real ale in the quickest time, with the future King emptying the glasses in just 58seconds! 

British intelligence sources claim Al-Qaeda is planning another attack on the United Kingdom.  Sources state the terrorists plan to “encapsulate Norwich inside a giant pastry crust and drown the city in ‘evil gravy’”
 

Last night, authorities in Toronto, Canada, wept openly as they were caught up amidst a highly professional and petty ransacking of a Cheese Factory on the outskirts of the city. 200 tones of Canadian Cheddar and Oka cheeses were taken.