Development of Pseudocheese product, a new dairy-free, fat-free cheese has been halted after 6 volunteers fell dangerously ill during clinical trials. The Pseudocheese product was being tested at their in house labs in Hamwich. The failed trail is another setback in the quest to develop a cheese tolerated by every form of allergy.

England’s southern coastal towns are being besieged by large lizards. Bizarrely it appears the reptiles are coming in from the English Channel and searching for holy ground to lay their eggs. Biologists claim their behavior is not-typical and are alarmed by the events.

A very queer turn of events almost interrupted this year’s annual cheese rolling festival on Cooper’s Hill. The traditional get together, where all the contestants can enjoy a nice bit of cheese in a locally made bun was almost thwarted, when it was discovered the buns had been pinched.

Randolph Hardcheese Investigates the latest scientific theory that's causing outrage within the scientific community. Professor Schabzieger of the University of Zurich claims the big bang theorists will be literally blown away when he releases his latest book "Intelligent Control - How our universe is manipulated by pulleys and ropes"

In memory of our co-founder Ed Land, The Cheese Times will continue its mission to bring you the news the other networks don't want you to know. The Cheese Times will return, September 9th 2009, fifteen years after it's very first publication. CT RELAUNCH 09/09/09

Jose Mourinho and Chelsea went their separate ways this week. His contract terminated by mutual consent three years before its expiration.  The phrase, “mutual consent” is normally a contractual disguise for a sacking, yet it seems at Chelsea, both sides were losing their patience with each other.

The latest Bin Laden tape, the first in nearly three years, has two unique firsts. It is the first showing Bin Laden with his new jet black ‘Just for Men Beard.’ Secondly it wasn't released by Al Qaeda via Al Jazeera but by the US government. How and where did they find the tape?  A NASA worker speaks out and we have the exclusive.