In tribute to our co-founder Ed Land, The Cheese Times will return next year to continue its mission to bring you the news the other networks don't want you to know. The Cheese Times returns January 2009. Until then the front page will show three classic Ed Land exclusives.

Jose Mourinho and Chelsea went their separate ways this week. His contract terminated by mutual consent three years before its expiration.  The phrase, “mutual consent” is normally a contractual disguise for a sacking, yet it seems at Chelsea, both sides were losing their patience with each other.

The latest Bin Laden tape, the first in nearly three years, has two unique firsts. It is the first showing Bin Laden with his new jet black ‘Just for Men Beard.’ Secondly it wasn't released by Al Qaeda via Al Jazeera but by the US government. How and where did they find the tape?  A NASA worker speaks out and we have the exclusive.

Members of the European Community are amid massive rounds of diplomatic meetings with the UN, NATO and Nestle, sparked by the occupation of member state Austria, by a giant, nuclear, Lego Elvis. A frightened Austrian resident candidly told us – “Being candid, I’m an Austrian, and I’m scared!” Thus confirming our worse fears.

A new season of football kicks off this weekend, but all is not as it seems.  The money involved in the higher echeleons of the world's "beautiful game" is casting an ugly shadow, to avoid the pitfalls beset Italy's elite, the greatest clubs in Europe find a way to get an edge above and beyond the laws of the game. The Cheese Times investigates....

New British Prime Minister Gordon Brown grants The Cheese Times an exclusive interview in which he candidly admits "I can't grow a beard". The  Facial folically challenged new leader expresses his longterm non beard shame.

The bush Administration claim they have found Osama Bin Laden’s hiding place.  It’s not as first believed in Pakistan or Afghanistan but in fact on planet mars. In telescopic satellite pictures released by the Pentagon there appears to be a face that is of Al Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden.