Thursday, 29 July 2010
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Welcome to the Cheese Times News Archive, Here you can read and browse our previous articles. We are proud to have you as a reader, you're obviously a very discerning person who desires to know the "real news" - the news the other papers and networks don't want you to know.



Agri-Cultural Changing Marriage
Monday, 12 October 2009

Surrey born farmer wins the right to marry one of his fields. Dennis Curworthy, 48, has been battling the past four years the local and national marriage laws that prohibited any such nuptials. However this week, he finally got his wish, and his field of dreams. Though most law experts claim this will not set a precedent.

 
Man eating cheese consumes entire old hag
Thursday, 08 October 2009

Bristol and Bath's Annual Cheese and Ale Festival was interrupted when a Kent native, a man called Kent Native got a "little carried away" by eating a whole truckle of Quintuplet Gloucester and drinking an entire bottle of 80% proof 'Old Hag Ale'. Read how festivities turned to horror...

 
Bush Administration: 'Al Q’aeda Link to Prehistoric Mass Extinction'
Tuesday, 29 September 2009

New light has been shone on the desperate final months of President George W Bush's war on terror. The Obama leadership reveals details of an astonishing report made by the former administration in the weeks before leaving the White House that links Al Q'aeda to the extinction of the dinosaurs.

 
Police Forces of the World Unite
Thursday, 24 September 2009

Since last week's CT report, the numbers of police personnel in and around a warehouse in the English countryside has increased by the thousands, and now include officers from foreign police forces. The British government is monitoring the situation with an uneasy tension, fine port and blue Stilton.

 
Chat of the Land: Earth Noise Deciphered?
Friday, 18 September 2009

The Cheese Times brings you another exclusive from the world of science. New discoveries set to revolutionise continental geography claim the world's landmasses not only shift but speak to each other. Our newly appointed chief science correspondent, Millie Caephilly, reports.

 
Wolf attacks in South West England
Wednesday, 16 September 2009

The local Devon police released a statement claiming a total of eight people have been attacked by wolves, of which one was killed, in the past week upon Dartmoor and Exmoor. The police plead for pubic calm and encourage a voluntary curfew after nightfall.

 
Nation's Police convene at warehouse for reasons unknown
Monday, 14 September 2009

Police have discovered something and they won't tell anybody what it is. UK Cheese Times reporter Dave Cheddar has had to rely on reports sent from civil servants and members of the public to shed light on unprecedented events occurring in Sodding Chipbury, in Double-Gloucestershire. In the UK.

 
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