| Cyborg Malfunction the reason for Army u-turn on Prince Harry? |
| Written by Brian McCheddar | |
| Thursday, 24 May 2007 | |
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Head of the British Army General Sir Richard Dannatt declared Prince Harry was no longer going to Iraq due to specific threats that would put his and his squadron’s safety in greater danger. However was he ever intending to go? Critics including former classmate Boris Beenleigh previously claimed a cyborg, created by British Aerospace was really going to Iraq, whilst the real Harry gorged himself on brandy and pies safe in old Blighty. This week’s news that Harry would no longer be going to Iraq follows a leaked report that a number of soldiers were seriously injured during training exercises. Training that apparently involved his squadron in the Household Cavalry. The British Army and the Government are keeping quiet. Yet, inside sources who wish to be unnamed and on occasionally spanked by our in-house whore, tell us “It’s another cover up -- the cyborg Harry malfunctioned during a practice exercise, it was goose stepping, mooning and generally performing unruly non-regimented tom foolery which culminated in the cyborg Harry open firing on his eleven man troop.” Our mole continued “the cyborg was to be dishonourably discharged from the army, but the Royals worked out a way for it to be given menial desk duties until everything blew over.” Harry whistleblower Boris Beenleigh told us, he had heard from a friend of Harry’s that “….the cyborg would be kept, and that British Aerospace is working on fixing the problem. Eventually, Beenleigh claims, "the Royals hope to use the cyborg to continue working in the Royal Army for another year before then using it to perform charity work and general fundraising while the real Harry stays at home smoking a pipe, drinking brandy and playing on his XBOX360.” |