The latest Bin Laden tape, the first in nearly three years, has two unique firsts. It is the first showing Bin Laden with his new jet black ‘Just for Men Beard.’ Secondly it wasn't released by Al Qaeda via Al Jazeera but by the US government. How and where did they find the tape?  A NASA worker speaks out and we have the exclusive.

President George W. Bush famously claimed that Osama Bin Laden could run but not hide. Six years later, still in hiding, The Cheese Times can exclusively reveal where he ran to.

Dr. John Hubbardston, former satellite espionage specialist for NASA told us, over a rather lavish cheese board and wine selection, that “Bin Laden and other Al Qaeda leaders used old soviet rocket technology stolen during the Afghanistan war to leave planet earth and take up residence on the moon.”

“NASA had been working tirelessly searching the moon’s surface through satellite imagery to locate the 9/11 frontman’s lunar base. Once discovered, the US government, by order of President Bush began a secret space project to go to the moon and capture Bin Laden and his associates.”  The mission, conducted in October 2005 was, as is recent US tradition, a total failure.  Bin Laden had escaped the surface of the moon using evil science and was last seen roaming the solar system.  “Since, the Bush Administration had poured billions into a system search of Mars, Venus and the asteroid belt.”  Hubbardston suggests “this mission has obviously been successful.  They’ve obviously, if nothing else, been able to infiltrate video signals and obtain the latest Bin Laden spiel” Hubbardston told us through a mouthful of Cheshire cheese.