Members of the European Community are amid massive rounds of diplomatic meetings with the UN, NATO and Nestle, sparked by the occupation of member state Austria, by a giant, nuclear, Lego Elvis. A frightened Austrian resident candidly told us – “Being candid, I’m an Austrian, and I’m scared!” Thus confirming our worse fears.

President George Bush has already come to the defence of Austria, claiming the work to be that of Terrorist groups, he made a speech from the Whitehouse speaking directly to the giant Lego Elvis "You are in violation of international law, and soon my friend you will be all shook up, you can run, but you can't hide."

The giant plastic invader has apparently no intention of hiding, even if he could which would be some mean feat considering his size and loudness. He is currently reeking havoc in downtown Vienna, already enslaved all non-technical Lego based life forms in the city, and  consumed its entire annual GDP stock of burgers, fries, and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches in a mere two hours.

It all started during Christmas 2006; British schoolboy, Brian Cerney, 11, received his cherished gift of a Technical Lego kit, designed for 16yr olds+. In the months that followed he built a succession of ever more impressive Lego machines - aided by nuclear capabilities stolen from his father’s workplace during his work experience – that included a combine harvester, vodka distillery and chillingly, an evil fridge.  He made larger and larger Lego person type peices by stealing from the plastics factory that his mother worked at.

It is widely accepted by boffins around the globe that at 19:27 GMT on Saturday 25 August 2007 the Lego King of rock and roll became self aware, and it’s IQ went way beyond that of any human. It was suddenly out of the control of its builder, the now alarmed Brian Cerney, now 12.  Brian Cerney's father Adolf has rebutted claims that the school kid was working with terrorist groups.  Adolf Cerney claims his son was just being a kid, and that he "just got a bit carried away with his Lego"

Armed to the burger encrusted teeth, the Lego Elvis has taken control of all of Austria’s main cities and is demanding that Stefan Dennis out of Aussie soap Neighbours re-release “Gonna Make You Feel Good”.  The single was a hit for the Neighbours star, reaching #16 in the UK charts in May 1989. Several hundred arrests have been made, but none connected to this case. The re-release of ‘Gonna Make You Feel Good’ is thankfully on track and expected soon. Only time will tell if we’ve done enough.