A new season of football kicks off this weekend, but all is not as it seems.  The money involved in the higher echeleons of the world's "beautiful game" is casting an ugly shadow, to avoid the pitfalls beset Italy's elite, the greatest clubs in Europe find a way to get an edge above and beyond the laws of the game. The Cheese Times investigates....

Man United won the Community Shield last Sunday, thus kicking off a brand spanking new Premiership season.  Here at the Cheese Times, we love our football.  That’s Soccer to you Yanks.  We’ve missed it!  We’ve been going so crazy at the lack of Football action lately, to the extent that we’ve taken to watching French films, Big Brother and joining book clubs to fill the void!  We can’t stand going without our football fix!  All we’ve had to keep us going in the close season is the transfer comings and goings of the clubs.  

There have been so many transfers, and it seems as many new club owner-shippers and managers too! All laced with frenetic football/political psychobabble. The top four - Liverpool, Man United, Arsenal and Chelsea will each try to outwit each other anyway they can in the ‘07-’08 campaign.  There will also be some surprise packages next season with Roy Keane at newly promoted Sunderland, and Fat Knacker Sam ‘20 bellies’ Alardyce at rivals Newcastle.  World cup favourite gobshite Sven is at Man City, and impressive ex Northern Ireland boss Sanchez has taken charge of Fulham.  It’s going to be one of the most exciting seasons for a long while!  It’s not just who has the best players and manager.  Psychology and other factors could have the biggest say on who will be a hit, and who will be a miss in the premiership next season!

The game of football is constantly evolving at a very rapid rate.  The more that the millions are pumped in, the faster it’s change goes.  Bagging the best player, or the best coach, or the best bare-knuckle boxing badger as a mascot, is no longer enough.  A collection of scientists, doctors, financial experts, top boffins, astrologers and black magic practitioners are now controlling the game of football.  Sport is a science!  Sam Alardyce of Newcastle United, for example, has a backroom staff over over 2000 understudies, skilled in tactics, mind warfare, carpentry, Sports science, and gaining large salaries.  And everyone is familiar with the 5 deep sea diving capsules Man Utd rely on for the peak fitness of it’s players.  That is the way of the world now.  Everything’s evolving.  Yet all that is nothing compared to the mysteries the Cheese Times dossier on the new season exposed.  Read on and be facinated.  And keep informed…

The importance of sport psychology in football is becoming increasingly well recognized with many professional clubs employing psychologists. Sport psychology is sometimes called mental preparation or training, but it doesn’t always stop there.  More and more clubs are involving all manner of black magic, superstition and punch-ups to stay competitive.  We preview the four main title contenders and a few others getting in on the extra curricular game in an attempt to get to the next level and be top dogs.
Woof, woof…

 
The big four
Three other clubs that might be testing FIFA's rules