|
Multi, mega, massive billion pound pay-day “A Coming!”  Directors at Europe’s biggest Cheese manufacturer Cheese Galactic, a British/Chad company, have decided it is to sell up and leave the cheese market completely in order to capitalise on the expected lucrative new virtual cheese.com.org. boom in demand for hi tech byte produced cheese products.
In a plush five star hotel business suite fat cat directors, boardmembers, brokers, along with those god-awful shareholders, gathered for the vote. They voted unanimously 25-1 for the new action after an Oscar worthy overhead projector power point presentation review of the strategic options available - made by the Cheese Times’ very own Ronald Boss, who was out moonlighting on us the sod! Afterwards, over the finest port and a finger buffet, (That included ex PM, UK Prime-Minster Dame Maggie Haggie Thatcher, Blue Nun, Cheese and Pineapple on sticks and mini sausage rolls,) an overall agreement was made. However it has since come to light that more than half of the boardmembers, many known disagree-ers of the new measures, were found brutally murdered at their hotel suites in suspicious circumstances the night before the vote. The final say has been suspended until the resolution of the 1023 odd pending court cases involving some 172 odd execs etc of the Cheese Galactic business chain.
The firm is known to generate over £84Million a year and it is hoped that it can make TEN TIMES that much as it branches out into the global market with digital virtual cheese, made from bytes and not dairy products. An insider wearing a Dracula mask, cape and Chinese cotton men’s shoes to protect his identity told us in a fake Scottish accent – “We want to take the business to the next level, but we recognise that we cannot do that alone, we need partnerships. Thankfully across the globe with have found these partnerships. We want world domination even more than Hitler did! As do our partners.” The company was created 5 years ago as the winning prize on a lottery scratchcard.
|
