It is one of the most popular car based couple arguments in the world ever – Tired, confined and getting lost on your travels. A cinnamon-based pipe tobacco can however beat all this! It will help you keep alert, yet relaxed and ready for anything! Humanity’s fatal flaw in being crap at reading maps has finally been solved by technology, with a helping hand from Tobacco. Satellite navigation systems have made any journey possible, but they aren’t 100% correct. And any journey, no matter how short should never be attempted without a continuous supply of pipe tobacco for the driver. There was an inquest recently in Nigeria, the case of tribal leader, Oba Cheezle, who attempted to travel the 3 minute, 0.7km distance from the outskirts of his village to its centre in Nu, Nigeria, Africa, using the latest sat nav system. He never arrived! His body was discovered frozen to death in the Alps, Europe, having been set on fire passing through the Earth’s core as tragic Cheezle followed a faulty sat nav’s every command to the word. He had run out of pipe tobacco after the first 6 minutes of his journey and police are sure this made him have a nervous breakdown leading to him blindly following an obviously faulty sat nav system. My advice is smoke a pipe, calm down and use a proper paper map, your life may depend on it! The reliability of sat navs has also been sorely tested by the recent case of an Israeli Jew who thanks to shoddy sat nav technology, went tragically astray on a journey to the wailing wall from Tel Aviv, and ended up travelling through both time and space to German occupied Poland, 1941. Tragically he was whacked into Jew heaven in a gas oven. That wasn’t nice Germany!

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