Probably the most well known cheese cure is the cottage cheese hemorrhoids cure. The reason why it's so well known is because it's so good. Apply chilled cottage cheese to your poorly piled arsehole and rejoice in the relieving pleasure. Keep applying until the swelling reduces and you manage to bend over without screaming. Winston Churchill suffered terribly with piles during all of WWII, it was very nearly fatal, but thanks to Cottage Cheese, his arse continued, the man continued, and those pesky Nazis were cut short in their bitter racist tracks. Remember Winston. Think “Hemorrhoids didn’t beat him, hemorrhoids won’t beat me! My arse will heal thanks to cottage cheese!”

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