The son of an English nobleman and an early example of a oriental mail order bride, half-Chinese Bruce started out in the 1960s as a kung fu weatherman, having graduated from Dulwich’s Kung Fu, Meteorology and journalism college in ‘67. However he was sacked in disgrace after it was discovered that he had purposely started a hurricane using kung fu in Dulwich, UK, which caused £5M damage, in an attempt to boost viewing figures for his kung fu based forecasts.

He then moved into journalism with his local rag The Dulwich Chronical. However he was quickly sacked once more after accidentally publishing his latest gas bill, and a cheque for £20, having posted his latest article on a funday at Dulwich donkey sanctuary to a bemused Npower. He then worked as a steeplejack for 20 years, working alongside his good friend Fred Dibna on St Paul’s cathedral after it’s fire. He returned to journalism in the late 90s, writing for Top Gear Magazine, Bella, TV Quick, Barely Legal, Good Housekeeping and Men’s Health. He now spends his time reporting for The Cheese Times, running a cocaine triad cartel in China (don't worry it's all legit) and presenting popular consumer affairs show “Give me a f***ing Refund or I’ll ‘ave you!” on Tyne-Tees television. He is also the UK’s 253rd best magician. You can read some of his magic in the classic report