NASA’s plan to conquer the planet Venus using an ant has failed miserably, as predicted by everyone on earth except for NASA employees, relatives and friends.  NASA sent a lone ant on a probe that landed on Venus last Tuesday. Their hopes and the mission failed as the ant died in less than a second.

They hoped, just maybe, perhaps, the ant would thrive in its new challenging environment, and quickly populate this New World.  Yesterday though, NASA confirmed that the ant died 0.0000000000001 seconds after being released upon Venus.

The However a secret CheeseTimes mole in NASA told us, strictly off the record, that the ant was thought to have perished some minutes after takeoff, from old age in June 2000. After 2 wonderful firework display shuttle disasters in the last 20 years NASA is refusing to send any more humans into space until it is properly funded. A mission to send 2 gibbons and a gazelle to Orion’s Belt lifts off at 0600hrs on Saturday.

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