Grinning PM, Tony Blair, was reduced to tears and pitiful sobbing yesterday after seeing the first car that he ever owned drive past him unannounced. The premier had buggered off from his desk at no.10 after becoming bored and distracted by the tedium of running the country. He made his way to the nearest McDonalds and grabbed a chicken Mcnugget happy meal for lunch, with which he got a free ‘Incredible’s’ figurine.

As he left the burger emporium the government big cheese saw his cherished 1960’s mini speed by, with the driver raking the tits out of it and topping 120mph. He told the gathered pressman “I thought I was over the bitch, but in reality we never really get over loosing the first car of our lives, do we? I’d still have her back!” He then broke down in tears, fiddling with his Incredible’s figurine, inconsolable, for 27 hours before finally pulling himself together again and getting on with things such as his job.

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