EX DESPOT GIVEN GANGSTA MAKEOVER ON US TALK SHOW TO BECOME BIG CHEESE

He looked bewildered, beaten and useless when he was dragged out of his hovel into captivity by US troops in Iraq last year, but you can’t keep a mean bastard mutha f**ker down. For the CheeseTimes can exclusively reveal that Ex Iraqi dictator Saddam Keith Hussein has worked his way up to being the top dog in the entire US prison system. 

The ex-despot brute was secretly integrated into the regular US penal system last year to cut the crippling costs of holding him prisoner in Iraq, where he still has many fans fighting like buggery for his freedom. Since starting his stretch at a maximum-security prison in Detroit, Saddam, now known by his middle name Keith, has quickly moved up the prison food chain.

He won respect from hardened fellow cons by drug running, gassing thousands of sex offenders using a byproduct of prison hooch and for his general brawling. The final piece of the jigsaw of Keith’s rise to the top came last Tuesday, when he was given a ‘gangsta-stylee’ makeover on top US talk show “Whatever.” The makeover transformed the tyrant into a modern day gangsta, thus scaring off all opposition in the fight to be top dog of the whole of the USA.

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