Mr. Simon Bosworth 32, of Cheese Farm, Cramlington in Northumberland is today thanking God for the large piece of Gouda, that yesterday heroically saved him from drowning. At about 6:30am yesterday morning, Mr Bosworth set about his daily duties on his self run cheese farm. At about midday he sat down next to a stream on his farm to eat his lunch, a large piece of Gouda, and take in the beautiful Northumbrian countryside. However his peaceful lunch tuned into tragedy when an escaped chicken ran at him knocking him headlong into the five inch deep stream.. Unable to swim, Bosworth splashed about wildly before slipping under the surface.

"The next thing I know" Bosworth explained, "I was laying on the stream bank with the piece of the gouda rested on my forehead," he explained to a bemused press conference. "There absolutely was no one around for miles, the only explanation is that the piece of cheese came to life, dived into the stream and dragged me out and resuscitated me before going to sleep on my head"

Mr Bosworth now plans to keep the piece of gouda as a pet and is often seen around town with his cheesy friend. However sceptical locals are treating him with suspicion. One terrified resident even thought that Mr Bosworth might just be possibly using drugs. Mr Bosworth was somewhat upset by this accusation and has given a blood sample to his GP. The results showed that, apart from an excessive amount of cheese, Mr Bosworth's blood was drug free.

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