The United States capital's traffic was severely disrupted today when a proposed government plan for two construction cranes to mate held up commuters for eight hours. This morning, just south of Washington DC, the interstate 95 was brought to a complete standstill, with all lanes blocked both ways as two heavy duty cranes became romantic.

Roy Hodgson is the new England manager, will he succeed where Capello failed? Yes Capello failed. With so much talk when Fabio Capello resigned that he left as statistically the best England manager of all time, we at the Cheese Times started to think, really? Surely not. We called in the CT boffins and found out the truth.

Hodgson claims two firsts as new England manager. Yes, as FA chairman David Bernstein insisted on telling us many times, he's the first England manager to be appointed with previous international experience, but he won his way into our hearts by being the first to raise up a cheese in his introductory press conference.

Four billion dollars worth of espionage and specially directed CIA Osama funds were used before, apparently one facebook avid worker at Homeland Security recognized Osama Bin Laden's Facebook profile; it gave the US government his name, address and favourite tv show info - not surprisingly, the ever popular Fox production House M.D.